It has been shown that the most important relationship in a child’s life is the same sex parent. Father/son or Mother/daughter.
I don’t know about that. Chase and I share a very different bond then he and his father. Chase will share his deepest worries, dreams, thoughts, and boils on his butt with me. I do mean the boil part literally. Yeah you have a great mental picture going right now don’t you? Chase knows that I love him unconditionally; he falls asleep with me in bed most nights watching TV and talking.
She embodies all of the fruitages of the spirit. I am the weak one. I am broken in spirit tonight. I am wishing for all the things we do not have. I have been looking through pictures of the Daddy Daughter Dance – realizing I do not have any of those. I do not have pictures from Daddy Daughter and I WANT THEM. (Insert me stamping my feet here)
The sermons keep at me with the scripture The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. It has been a part of the readings for the past few months. Last night when it was read again – I realized apparently I am not picking up on the NOT wanting part.
I have been weepy all day long, looking at the pictures of little girls grinning ear to ear with their fathers. Beautiful little dresses, bows, shoes. I suppose it did not help that today I ordered special shoes for Larkin that will fit around her leg braces. Although they are cute, it was one more thing that is “special” and frankly, right now I am pissed off about being special.
Can we just be normal?
Chase and I were studying tonight for his science test tomorrow. It is on genetics. Yeah um, he knows that inside and out. He knows T21, T18, and T13 etc. As we studied, I would ask him about certain cell types and he would refer to some as normal. “Those are normal people mom” – to which I replied with “typical is the correct verbiage Chase – no one is normal anymore and it’s hurtful to parents because it indicates that their child is abnormal if said child is different.” But his text books all indicate “normal” BLECH
I am not sure where this post is going except that I need to write it and get it off my heart. I need to sit in the shower and cry for a good while. I typically ignore the Daddy Daughter because it hurts. This year Larkin could have gone except that she has a cold, she cannot walk, she would not really get much out of the event, loud noise will only cause her to shut down, and dad – well daddy is still not comfortable yet.
What will our “mother/daughter” relationship be? Will it be the most important in her life? Will she want to fall asleep talking with me and watching TV? Will we ever have a tea party? What is to come? Progress is being made but it is even hard to look at her Down syndrome peer group because we are so delayed.
I cannot look at such things and typically, I do not – except on Daddy Daughter Dance weekends. Our journey is different and so we don’t fit the mold of society. I ache for the things lost but I need to concentrate on things hoped for.
I want to punch the persons who wrote the science book in the face.
I’ll be better after some tears and sleep. Both do a body good along with a glass of wine. Thanks for letting me whine.