Moments in time

Everyone has life moments they wish they could go back to in order to either change the circumstances in the moment or the outcome

The “I should have said” or “I should have done” argument you have in your head

I have been in full choregasm™ mode around the house.  Cleaning out drawers, donating items, washing every inch of the woodwork, and hanging every picture that has sat on the floor waiting for me the last 10 years

You get the idea and this is how I work things out in my head and heart ~ I clean

I took the twins with me to the hardware store because I finally took the time to fix the arm on a chair that had belonged to Andy’s Grandfather.  Yeah another chore that had been put off for years ~ today was the day to fix it

We blew into the store and quickly found the hardware I needed yet I indulged the gentleman who was helping me as he talked about his own children and how he wished he had twins.  He explained in detail to the twins how he sorted out the bins of nuts/bolts and his elaborate charting system of what was in the bins.  Meanwhile B & E are removing said nuts/bolts and asking 3.4 million questions

It was a moment in time that was valuable to the girls and the employee so I smiled and waited

I herded the kittens back to the car and I sat, as I always do, in my seat waiting for the girls to buckle their belts and continued answering the remaining 1 million questions

Looking to my left I saw a car parked a few spots over with an older woman in the front seat and the face of a younger woman in the back seat

I wasn’t really paying a lot of attention to them ~ just staring out as I continued to answer nuts/bolts questions until I focused and noticed the face in the back seat was watching me

Beautiful Almond shaped eyes, gorgeous brown hair, and a familiar facial shape

A version of Larkin at age 30

My eyes moved back to the older woman in the front seat

A version of me at age 65

My heart stopped a bit and I felt an instant connection with 2 total strangers who probably wondered why the bat shit crazy woman next to them was staring

I played out their story in my head thinking about why they were waiting in the car vs going inside the hardware store ~ a story I had zero right to make up

My gut was telling me to get out of the car and hug that mom and tell her how it made my heart feel so full to see her with her daughter

Tell her she is amazing

Tell her I want to be her when I grow up

I didn’t know their story and I wrestled with the idea until both twins announced they were ready to get the car moving and go eat

Moving the car away I couldn’t help but to keep glancing back

These days I am feeling the need to etch memories into my mind.  I see life as fleeting moments of amazing.  I want time to stop.  I want to take each moment and etch it slowly and drag it out ~ I want more time

This, I have decided, is how you feel once you hit a certain age, have a large appetite for the people you love, and maybe you have lost someone dear

Instead of continuing to wish for more time I am making the most of what I have and taking a lot of pictures as it happens.  My children give me endless sources of laughter, angst, and tears.  They are my treasure ~

I wish I could turn back time and go back to the parking lot and actually get out of the car and tell that mom all my thoughts and kiss her daughters beautiful face

I may have made their day

Or have a restrainer order against me and needed bail money

Either way it would have been a memory and one well worth having





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