Ben Stiller take a look at my life

You see Ben, I never got the option to “never go full retard” when Larkin was born.  It wasn’t anywhere on the checklist that I received.  Oh wait…I NEVER GOT A CHECKLIST.  I am not an actor.  I am not playing a part in a movie.  I am real life.  I am living a real story.  I am raising a real little person with real life health issues that came with a diagnosis of mental retardation.  You are an actor with a responsibility to accept what comes along with free speech.  So quit hiding behind “We don’t mean to pick on those people”.  Quit hiding behind press releases.  Come look at the little girl, mother, father, brother, aunt, uncle, grand-mother, grand-father and the list grows – that you have hurt.  Come take a look.

One year ago this week our doctors in St Louis gave us Larkin’s diagnosis of Lennox-Gastaut. My email from last year read this way:

“We are trying to – and – stay – strong but I have to admit…I am tired. I am pissed off. I am scared. However on the bright side now that my worst fear has been brought to the front, I no longer have to fear it. I have to deal with it. WE have to deal with it. I am sick inside but I know in time that will pass. She is a beautiful little girl who just can’t seem to catch a break. She doesn’t deserve any of this. I would go outside for a walk but it’s 101 here so it feels like hell inside and outside of this hospital. Instead I think Andy and I will sit here with our girl and try and kiss and hug away the pain.”

One year ago I remember feeling like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time when Dr. Bertrand gave me the news. I did neither but did make the decision to start the drug Felbamate right away. The pictures below show the change and the journey toward health. The decision to begin a drug that we didn’t know, and still don’t, if it will kill her. THIS is why the movie Tropic Dunder makes me so angry. THIS is why if those actors, that want to pass themselves off as human beings, would spend some time with a family going through this…they would NEVER EVER make a movie that uses those with mental retardation as a joke. THEY WOULD KNOW OUR PAIN. THEY WOULD KNOW THAT THE WORD RETARD IS PAINFUL, OFFENSIVE and frankly they would maybe wake up to the fact that they are picking on those who can’t fight back.

You be the judge. You decide if you could stand in my shoes for a minute, look at my girl and know our pain and still feel that it is ok to use the word retard.





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5 Responses to Ben Stiller take a look at my life

  1. Renee says:

    Thank you for posting all the info about Tropic Thunder. Especially “Shame on Ben Stiller”.

    Here’s my further comment:

    Boycott Tropic Thunder for Shaming & Demeaning People

    Imagine that you are a person with a developmental disability who decides to go to a movie that has been advertised as funny. And then it happens… you see people with disabilities depicted in the most demeaning way possible. You sink in your chair and you try to hide from other people in the audience out of shame and embarrassment – just for being you. And you wonder, “Is that what people think of me?”

    Thousands of mothers and fathers just like me are crying today, not laughing, because of this very scenario and knowing that our children are again going to face another humiliation. Tropic Thunder, Paramount, Dreamworks and all associated with this movie, including the actors who think that this is “funny” are the ones who should feel shame. The depiction of “Simple Jack,” in addition to the use of the “R” word is beyond terrible and a throw-back to the days of institutionalization.

    The disability community tried in earnest to work with Paramount and Dreamworks who told them to lighten up because it’s a joke. If someone says to you it’s no joke to them, it is not. They’ll make millions off of this movie on the backs of those they are making fun of.

    It’s even more than “political correctness”. We all hate “PC” now. But the “R” word has been used in a derogatory way for years now. It’s part of our vocabulary to use it all the time. Would that be tolerated as “funny” if it were the “N” word? People with developmental disabilities have been called the “R” word, too. Have we forgotten that they are people?

    Please boycott Tropic Thunder and say no to shaming people who do not deserve to be shamed and humiliated. That’s not funny – and it NEVER will be.

  2. Zoey's Mom says:

    I know anniversary days of certain things can be so painful and bring back emotions as if they were yesterday. Because I know,I will be thinking of you this week.Praying. Larkin is so beautiful and so very blessed to have you as her mom. A voice for her. A mom who will stop at nothing to protect her from anything and all because you love her that much.By the way,don’t know how I missed the Bon Jovi clip but love him and love his version of that song.

  3. I heard about your posts via a reader’s comment on Momformation. Your words moved me to tears and the pictures of your beautiful daughter’s smile is all the more elegant because of your devotion to her. Thank you for publishing this.

  4. Lindsay says:

    Great point . . . in light of what you said about not judging and always supporting, I hope you truly believe the same to be true and apply it to all those who may be in need (see my latest blog post).

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