We’ve been quiet this week as a family. Enjoying the beach, walks, water, I read an entire book!, sleeping late, bonfires, the still of a morning without traffic, coffee and eggs, giggles and whines respectively are still with us BUT most of all…my spirit was quiet this week and I really believe that my Heavenly Father knew that I needed this. I’ve realized after almost a week of this that I move at top speed all of the time. I move. I don’t stop. I absorb – implement and move on down the road. If I stop, will I die? Will I fall apart? Will it all show up as a big fat facade and I am the biggest faker in the world? Will the tears begin and never stop?
Although the tears are here right now. I spill my guts and heart out to all of you right now. I was sort of “normal” this week. I didn’t worry about seizures, down syndrome, school registration, the women’s twin city, Larkin’s Place, the park districts, home, dogs (well maybe a little bit). I relaxed and drank some wine, gin and tonic, cooked on the grille, played with my kids, took pictures, swam, laughed and enjoyed friends from Champaign that I don’t typically see on a regular basis.
I did cry up here a little bit. After some wine one of the friends from Champaign and I were talking about how bad news at a hospital changes you. You drive home and everything has changed. The drive down Lincoln Ave is DIFFERENT. You watch cars move, people go about their day and your entire world is SHIT.
It was a good cry though. I don’t mind those. Today my babies and I enjoyed the sand, love and relaxing. I have returned emails to families dealing with seizures that need my support and experience. I have spent some time researching Larkin’s Place and setting up meetings. I also worked on my “real job” which always needs me at the end of a month. Sitting here tonight I was trying to figure out what was different. Why I was feeling the way I was. It’s melancholy because it’s been a very very very long time since I felt “normal” but this week is exactly what the doctor ordered. And I didn’t have to take or give a shot, pill or get an MRI for it. I just had to stop.
I’m glad you had a good week…
I am so glad you had some time to relax. You deserve it and I am sure it must be hard to turn it all off, if even for a few hours/days. Beautiful picture!
Bottle it and take it home …
In the world of blogging I have absolutely no idea how I found you and your very darling Larkin!Here I am nonetheless, to say hi and invite you to meet Zoey,I think our little ones have a thing or two in common!Poked around a bit and I see you have the ban on the dreaded “S” word as well. We also have the B.S.,”b”efore the “S” word reared it’s ugly head abbreviation, which works out nicely because it encapsulates what we feel about the whole darn thing!Take care and I look forward to coming back and getting to know you all a little better.
I totally can relate to what you said about driving away from the hospital and feeling like the world is moving along without you. I had that same feeling on the days that I left Payton in the NICU after she was born. So true.
Boy, I sure could use a little bit of normal right about now! Sounds wonderful and so glad you got some!