Suspension of Reality

With all the advertising about the Academy Awards, I realized that we haven’t done what “normal” couples do for a very long time.  We haven’t been to a movie.  Andy is a movie person and when we dated that is what we often did especially during the winter.  Before Larkin, we would go with other couples and do dinner/movie night. 
After Larkin not so much. 
We both had panic attacks when we tried to go to the movies.  Between the darkness, sitting in close proximity to strangers, listening to people smack their lips, and tolerating those who choose to talk/laugh/interrupt a movie it became too much.  In the dark, I would worry.  Worry if she was having a seizure, falling down, hitting her head, crying, not eating well enough, missing me, oh and you name it – I panicked about it.
Andy would whisper to me because he notices that I rub my hands and face during these moments “let’s go” and up we would sprint.  Make a phone call the second we got out of the theater to ensure that a tidal wave hadn’t hit east Urbana and Larkin was lost in the ensuring flood. 
I decided that we would attempt to go to a movie this past Sunday.  Larkin has been well for about 2 solid weeks so I asked our regular sitter to come over so we could venture out.  We came to a compromise on “Taken” starring Liam Neeson.  I happen to think Liam is hot in a – 10 minutes in a dark closet sort of way – so I was happy to go. 
Sitting in the dark.  In the very back row.  Waiting.  All the advertisements were running and I remarked to Andy how weird it is that all the movie ads were for upcoming television shows.  Andy said, “maybe that is something new in the past 3 years” which made me die laughing.  Anyway, long story short we made it through the movie without running.  It was exhausting for me even though it was a good movie and I realized why shortly after leaving the theater. 
The reviews about the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons during the hoopla of the awards show kept repeating that one needs to suspend their belief or reality in order to enjoy the movie and how amazing it is. 
Well guess what.  I SUSPEND REALITY ALL THE FREAKING TIME.  I don’t live the reality that most people do therefore – what exactly can I suspend??  I can’t relax in movies because life as we live it and have experienced it has made us step outside “normal” and no longer can we simply view life as something we take for granted.  How plausible does it seem that a child would be born and age backwards?  Gee I don’t know how plausible is every single thing that has happened to us in the past 3 years?? 
The chase scenes are beyond nerve racking and I can’t take the shooting parts either.  Seriously, does Hollywood need to have these parts of the movie go on and on and on and on and on?  We get it.  Liam is going to outrun the bad guys so why extend it out for a full 5 minutes?  I think about 1-2 minutes of chasing and shooting does get the point across.
I digress.  Suspension of reality happened when I heard the words Down syndrome and our lives were thrown into the chaos of learning a whole new way of life.  Further suspension during the diagnosis of seizures and frankly it all went away when I heard the words “it looks like Lennox-Gastuat”.  I no longer had any reality to hold onto and our normal became something entirely different. 
Benjamin Button – he is going to have to wait for DVD when I can hit the fast forward and know that Larkin is safe and sound upstairs fast asleep. 
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7 Responses to Suspension of Reality

  1. we used to go every friday to see a new movie, but you know life is busy and we ehm lately have found how useful is internet and we can watch -new- movies downloading them… anyway is the only way we can catch up with the movie industry

    i just loved benjamin button, i cant believe brad pitt didnt won

  2. lbotp says:

    This is entirely too insightful for Monday at 4:40. I too have a hard time suspending reality, and perhaps that is why I tend to like really dark and sad and “deep” movies that seem more like documentaries. I’m glad you guys got out and Andy’s comment is too funny.

  3. This is Joyce. I can so relate although I never looked at it exactly as you have. It does help me explain why we own 200 DVD’s but never go to a movie.

  4. Yeah, we are finally to the point were we trust certain people to stay with Jax while we go on a date. We’ve found it helps our relationship and sanity to get out once and a while.

  5. Zoey's mom says:

    Haven’t been to the movies in over 2 years.Own tons of DVD’s of great movies that came out that we didn’t make it to see … haven’t watched them either.As for reality.I think I could however maybe make a mini movie of our lives over the last two years.Between financial ruin and Zoey’s ever growing list of medical crisis’s and everything inbetween.Seriously though,I can’t watch any medical shows,like ER or Grey’s.Too close sometimes.Now “House” .. that I can watch.Enough removed,sometimes,from my reality.

  6. Leighann says:

    When we were dating, we were both so busy. We would spend all weekend together, but during the week we would always meet at the movie theater and then sit in the car talking for an hour, parting ways until the weekend.

    After having kids, our theater outings have become few and far between and we now catch most movies on DVD.

    But on the rare occasion that we do make it out, I am constantly checking my cell phone to see if my silenced phone has rung. It’s difficult to relax when you have a child with a medical condition because the phone could ring at any moment.

    My parents said that Benjamin Button was great and you think about it for days after.

    Oh, and I still have not left my kids with a sitter. I haven’t had the guts to try to find one who I would even feel remotely comfortable with.

  7. Melanie Bates says:

    I am so glad that you both were able to have a night together. We used to go to the movies as well but when Marcus was trached i would find myself sleeping at the movies…it was the only place I had some mental down time…lol!

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