This little girl

How do you do it?  I hear that question daily and more often it’s follow with the word … all.  How do you do it all?  It catches me off guard – though I hear it so much – because it’s just the way my life is.  My life is busy just like everyone else and I am really no different then the majority.  I prioritize, multi-task to the enth degree, tape any TV I want to watch, and the biggest thing I have done to give my life order is I try to not spend any time on things that waste life.

I heard an incredible quote on Friday afternoon at a local seminar given by Bill Fay.  I didn’t write fast enough to catch the name to attribute it to the correct person but I loved it so much that it has resonated in me like a slow boil since then.

“I don’t fear failure, but I fear being successful at things that don’t matter”

The YMCA and Larkin’s Place at the Y is a huge part of my focus and life and it’s where my energy is spent when I am not otherwise occupied with my family.  I hear sideways underminers that question our project and it’s success and it is easy for me to turn away from them because I have never ever ever ever ever questioned the success of what we are doing.  Ever.  Never.  Ever.  My friend Dale and I were talking about my confidence in what we are doing as I explained to her that I know in my bones and with every fiber of my being that what we are doing is not only right it is one of the most important things in my life that I have had the privilege to be a part of.  I don’t fear failure.  Dale smiled and responded to me “Isn’t it great the peace that comes with being obedient?”  I stopped because I hadn’t considered that thought.  Dale went on to explain that when we listen to God and His plan for our life that we truly have the deepest peace and calm.

Larkin wasn’t in MY plan.  She was a part of His plan for my life.  His nudge for me to listen and come back to Him.  Some might consider it more than a “nudge”  HA!  It took over 30 years and a child with devastating life/health issues to understand my purpose.  My children, all 4 of them, challenge me in different ways however Larkin’s view of the world tackles me the most.  Larkin has become so bored being in the house all winter that I am desperate for the YMCA to be open NOW.  Her behavior has become that of a typical 9 month old, pulling pictures off the wall, doing laps, and getting into trouble.

I had a lot of thoughts yesterday and today I am having trouble putting them all into words but here goes:

Yesterday this little girl and I took a walk in the misty cool morning to work out her energy.  This little girl giggled from the moment her face hit the fresh air.  This little girl who is just learning to master walking had to carefully navigate each crack and rise in the concrete of the sidewalk.  This little girl had to stop every 10 feet or so and put her hands on the concrete to feel its bumps, coolness, gritty texture, and fish out a leaf here and there.  This little girl would stuff said leaf in her mouth and laugh with delight as I said no and pulled it out.  This little girl whose hands trembled in mine as I took her over the small mounds in the park because to her they seemed like mountains.  This little girl who can’t find her footing on snow.  This little girl who received kind looks and smiles as we passed others.  This little girl who needs to have a place to roam and play in safety.

This little girl who gives me balance and challenges yours.

This little girl who others might have aborted, gave me life.

This little girl who others see as different and “special” – knows more about how to love, give, share, and teach then anyone else I know.

This little girl and I were just going about our busy day, doing it all, because she needs me to ~ and my house needs the break.
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One Response to This little girl

  1. C Drummond says:

    Thank you for sharing your life. How do you juggle time for your marriage/husband? Is he helpful and understanding of all the time your children require? Or, does he feel he is being put second (or 3rd or 4th)and how do you and he grapple with this?

    God bless you in your efforts to make the life of a special needs child worth while.

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