With all the advertising about the Academy Awards, I realized that we haven’t done what “normal” couples do for a very long time. We haven’t been to a movie. Andy is a movie person and when we dated that is what we often did especially during the winter. Before Larkin, we would go with other couples and do dinner/movie night.
After Larkin not so much.
We both had panic attacks when we tried to go to the movies. Between the darkness, sitting in close proximity to strangers, listening to people smack their lips, and tolerating those who choose to talk/laugh/interrupt a movie it became too much. In the dark, I would worry. Worry if she was having a seizure, falling down, hitting her head, crying, not eating well enough, missing me, oh and you name it – I panicked about it.
Andy would whisper to me because he notices that I rub my hands and face during these moments “let’s go” and up we would sprint. Make a phone call the second we got out of the theater to ensure that a tidal wave hadn’t hit east Urbana and Larkin was lost in the ensuring flood.
I decided that we would attempt to go to a movie this past Sunday. Larkin has been well for about 2 solid weeks so I asked our regular sitter to come over so we could venture out. We came to a compromise on “Taken” starring Liam Neeson. I happen to think Liam is hot in a – 10 minutes in a dark closet sort of way – so I was happy to go.
Sitting in the dark. In the very back row. Waiting. All the advertisements were running and I remarked to Andy how weird it is that all the movie ads were for upcoming television shows. Andy said, “maybe that is something new in the past 3 years” which made me die laughing. Anyway, long story short we made it through the movie without running. It was exhausting for me even though it was a good movie and I realized why shortly after leaving the theater.
The reviews about the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons during the hoopla of the awards show kept repeating that one needs to suspend their belief or reality in order to enjoy the movie and how amazing it is.
Well guess what. I SUSPEND REALITY ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I don’t live the reality that most people do therefore – what exactly can I suspend?? I can’t relax in movies because life as we live it and have experienced it has made us step outside “normal” and no longer can we simply view life as something we take for granted. How plausible does it seem that a child would be born and age backwards? Gee I don’t know how plausible is every single thing that has happened to us in the past 3 years??
The chase scenes are beyond nerve racking and I can’t take the shooting parts either. Seriously, does Hollywood need to have these parts of the movie go on and on and on and on and on? We get it. Liam is going to outrun the bad guys so why extend it out for a full 5 minutes? I think about 1-2 minutes of chasing and shooting does get the point across.
I digress. Suspension of reality happened when I heard the words Down syndrome and our lives were thrown into the chaos of learning a whole new way of life. Further suspension during the diagnosis of seizures and frankly it all went away when I heard the words “it looks like Lennox-Gastuat”. I no longer had any reality to hold onto and our normal became something entirely different.
Benjamin Button – he is going to have to wait for DVD when I can hit the fast forward and know that Larkin is safe and sound upstairs fast asleep.