Tottering or Teetering?

Larkin is home from the hospital and recovering.  Chase is playing baseball with a new local team and I saw a smile on his face and a light in his eyes that I haven’t seen in a very long time.  All is well right?

Maybe.  I have been feeling like I am going to burst into tears at any moment.   Larkin in the hospital for a week and then coming home to shower only to find my son filled with self-doubt, humiliation and beginning to hate the game of baseball.  Good times.  Wish you were here?? 

We were discharged on Monday late afternoon.  Larkin’s ear has lost it swollen look and the redness is going away.  She is on an antibiotic for the next 2 weeks and then a return trip to her ENT for I assume ear tube surgery ASAP. 

Tuesday our consultant, Mara Kaplan, came in from Pittsburgh and she and I spent the day working on the website and the video presentation for Larkin’s Place. 

Wednesday began a morning filled with therapy for Larkin, lunch with Larkin’s Place committee and then in the evening we presented our project to the Champaign Park District Board.  It went very well and while it is going to take many more meetings to  get everyone on the same page as to what LP is and whom it will serve…..we did good 🙂

Thursday Mara and I drove to Peoria to check out their warm water therapy pool and the facility that supports it.  It takes a lot of research and work to grasp what a facility like this needs to get up and running but we are doing it!!  Mara flew home Thursday evening. 

Friday I met with the Urbana Park District Executive Director so that she could explain our presentation flow to their Board on June 10th.  From there I went to my real job at Twin City BMW Motorcycles.  I dropped Larkin off at Grammies and Chase to his dad and went to be by Sara, Helen and Becky’s side for Andy’s memorial service. 

It was amazing to hear the stories of how many lives and people Andy touched.  He walked the walk.  No pun intended.  He was a giving man who had no false pretenses.  He was a man of faith and he gave so much to so many.   Afterwards we went back to Helen’s house and spent the night visiting with family and friends.  I know they are all going to be ok and Helen will know what it’s like to be stalked by Amy and Larkin.  We plan to check on her routinely and ensure she is doing well.  It’s the LEAST we can do.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early at 6 to do a radio interview on WEFT.  A local radio station with various topics.  A show called “Disability Beat” is every Saturday morning at 7.  Unfortunately lightening hit their transmitter and so we taped off air.  It will be played on air in a few weeks and I will keep you informed as to when that will take place.

In between all of that, Chase’s father wrote a letter of resignation for Chase to the travel baseball team.  The look of relief that came across our child’s face was the best thing ever.  There are times when quitting is a good thing.   Makes for less expensive therapy bills – later in life 😉

Sunday – the usual day except now it’s warm enough to take Larkin to the pool.  She and I went for a long walk just the two of us.  I am close to shut down mode and didn’t want to talk so off she and I went.  Pool for 2 hours then I left her in bed napping with Andy and went to watch Chase play baseball. 

I watched him smile, laugh, have fun, pitch, hit, field and do what 12 year old boys are supposed to – be at ease on a Sunday with his parents watching him play. 

Life is quiet at the moment.  I’ll take that and enjoy the calm before another storm hits.  We know those storms are coming and we weather them as best we can.   I’ve been working the teeter-totter as wife, mother, friend, employee and fund-raiser.  I feel like I am failing in all parts in one way or another.  A good cry in the shower and some sleep will bring it all back into perspective and Monday will bring new challenges.   The beauty of a teeter-totter is you can balance it yourself but it’s always better to have  friends helping you.  I got lot’s of those and as always it helps to talk with my heavenly Father.  He always helps with my balance.

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3 Responses to Tottering or Teetering?

  1. rk says:

    Hey girl, sorry it’s been so darn draining for you. I’m very glad that Chase has been able to find a new spark and can play to enjoy! I had a twinge of remembrance at the “good cry in the shower” comment… I have done ALOT of those, for different reasons, or maybe some of the same. *wink* I know you’re surrounded by great friends and support. If you even need to chat with someone “out of the loop,” give me a call. My ph#s the same even if my state isn’t. Big hugs!

  2. lbotp says:

    Yeah I feel abandoned. Just kidding. I hope you get some time to recharge your batteries. I’m so glad that Chase is smiling again and glad that makes you smile too. I was thinking of you guys all weekend. XO

  3. Barbie says:

    Thanks for the update. I haven’t called (it doesn’t sound like you have had a minute to spare, anyway!), but please know that you have been on my mind and in my prayers all week. I hope this week is a better week (better meaning “boring” and “event-less”). We love you.

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