Shut up

I’d like to think that my posts here are not whines.  I’d like to think that I have been able to take a very bad situation and turn positive.  That has always been my personality and stance.  Shed light on the dark and inform those who don’t understand. 

Lately I have found a lot of disruption to my flow.  I talk a lot about my online world of Down syndrome support.  Last week the group, which is a world wide crowd, realized that a woman who was posting pictures, sharing her world of a new premature baby with a whole host of problems – was a fake.  Fake mom, fake baby and pictures stolen from another mothers blog.  That baby was real but very healthy and living in the United States.  People had started to catch on early to her deception but I didn’t pay any attention to her because her sign on name was “scaredmama” – I aint got time to be scared.   This fake mother started to post that her baby was having seizures.  Well now she entered my world.   A few parents emailed me and asked me to read her posts and help if I could.   Within 5 minutes I figured out that she had just enough information to make herself dangerous BUT she didn’t have enough to make it real.  You don’t enter my world easily and being in it – sobers you up real quick – and scared mama was not reacting that way.   I was beyond flabbergasted that someone would go to such great lengths for attention.  It really upset my online world.  We already deal with so much and so many different medical issues that people like her need to just shut up.   When Larkin was born, our life turned upside down for a good while.  We had a lot of tests to run to rule out health issues.  One that scared me the most was her heart echo.  Larkin had 2 ASD’s which in a nutshell are holes in the heart.  When life came back right side up, my common remark back to someone who was bitching about nothin in particular was a calm – “well my baby has two holes in her heart”.  I got the most horrified looks which were either related to the fact that I could calmly retort with a tinge of humor about holes in my childs heart OR the fact that their complaining – was falling short of being meaningful to anything at all anywhere.

We don’t say shut up in my house.  It’s a bad word.  But I am going to put it out there right now.  In fact I have a list of people and I encourage you to add to it as you like. 

  1. Shut up if you are pregnant by just looking at your husband as he passed you in the hallway, taking a bath with him or looking at each other. Those of us who lived the world of infertility – don’t want to hear it.
  2. Shut up if you are pregnant and are complaining about it. Yeah you might be tired, sore, bloated, high blood pressure, weight gain all the things that come with it – but there are plenty of people that wish they were in your bloated shoes.
  3. Shut up if you are pregnant and carrying a healthy baby. Enough said.
  4. Shut up if you are a mother to a healthy baby, toddler, teenager. Count your blessings that you don’t stand in my bloated shoes.
  5. I listen to friends who complain about the most insane things. I want to SCREAM outloud to SHUT UP and get a grip. Having children requires you to be less self-absorbed – well for most people but not all.
  6. The next time you find yourself irritated – close your eyes and take deep breaths and realize – that you are lucky.
  7. The next time you find yourself impatient – close your eyes and take deep breaths and realize – that you are lucky. Somewhere – someone else – has it a whole lot worse.
  8. The next time you want to open your mouth and complain – shut up
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6 Responses to Shut up

  1. Melissa says:

    I don’t get on DownSyn much anymore – but I remember how helpful you were to me Amy, when my little d was having some issues last year.

    I wondered what was going on with the picture thing and couldn’t believe when I read what had happened.

    Those deep breaths are so important – and really do help put things in perspective.

  2. Jill says:

    Amen Sister Friend.

  3. rk says:

    Yes, Ma’am.

  4. mrs. chicken says:

    Everyone has their own crosses to bear. Some are just more obvious than others.

    Something drove that mom to do that. We just don’t know what it is.

  5. Melanie says:

    Love the shut-up part, can I add that if you are a parent who complains that your baby’s smile wasn’t perfect in their picture SHUT UP!!!! It is so aggravating to me that they could complain about something like that, how bout having a family picture where your child doesn’t know how to smile when asked, or doesn’t know how to look at the camera or if your child’s best picture is one with a tube in their throat. Thanks for that blog I needed to read it!

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